After a week of eating no meat and exercising (missing only 1 day) I dropped 2 pounds! I’m now at 179 
Counting from my heaviest which was about 185 to 186 from a couple of weeks ago I’m about 4 to 5 pounds closer to meeting the 10 pounds before Korean BBQ deal. We’ve kind of changed our goal a bit by going nonmeat for 2 weeks rather than the 10 pounds but I’m hoping I’ll be able to do both. We’re scheduled to go on the 5th as that is right before we leave for Thailand.
I’ve been trying to do some of the p 90x work out. it’s hard but at least it makes me feel better and i feel like it may be working.
Today I weigh 181, its a drop since a couple of weeks ago i was back up at 186. We will try to start a vegetarian diet for the next two weeks. I don’t think it will help us lose that much weight but my aunt needs to eat less meat and healthier so we’re going to try that and see how it goes.
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11:13 pm… i’m suppose to be asleep now but im not
i’m completely sore, ive been feeling like this for the last week or so. don’t know when my body will ever get use to this but the good thing is that at least im still doing it and haven’t given up yet.
today for dinner i didnt something ive never done before and that was try to eat only veggies my aunt made chinese broccoli with oyster sauce. i despise veggies not because i dont like them but because they make me want to gag. there are few veggies i can eat where i wont feel like gagging. chinese broccoli is not one of them. i had tears in my eyes as i tried to force myself to eat it. i couldnt get passed 3 or maybe 4 bits. i ended up eating corn instead. i can already hear my stomach growling. not cool. tried the POM pomergrant lyncee green tea drink i dont like it but i don hate it and it didn’t make me want to gag so thats a good thing.
I don’t think that I’ve ever been emotionally stable and I don’t know that I will ever be.
I think that is part of my problem, if not all of it.
There is so much anger, so much frustration, that even if I counted to a million I’m not sure that would help solve anything.
It’s been a countless number of times in which I tried to tell myself that I would change me ways. That I would stop being so lazy, that I would be a better version of myself, that I would exercise, change the way I eat so that I could be a healthier version of myself. It’s been a struggle. I am human after all, a creature of habit. I’ve been told that it takes a least a month for something to be come routine. A month of constant and consistent practice. I’ve hardly ever made it passed 2 weeks. Hell, I was lucky if I could make it passed 1 week. Sadly enough, the same may be true for this here blog as well. I hope its not. I need to change. Not so much for myself, but for the people I love. I always waited for a holiday, or some special occasion to mark the change but it never worked. But someone I truly admire once said why wait, every day is a new day.
I’ve been rather sick of food lately. Not so much that I disgust eating. I don’t think that could ever happen. But rather everything that I have eaten has just made me feel kind of sick like I need to throw up. Not a good thing, especially if I still refuse to do anything to fix it. And by that I mean continuing to eat the junk that I love, rather than trying to eat something better.
But today I did eat something better. Or at least a little bit better. I had lunch with a friend at her beloved Panera Restaurant. She’s the only reason I eat there, but now that I’m trying to change what I eat I’m guessing I’ll be ending up there more often now. I had the their Chicken Caeser Sandwich
All-natural pepper-mustard chicken, Asiago, lettuce, tomatoes, red onions & our Caesar dressing, on our Three Cheese bread.
It’s very light, I don’t know the chicken and all of that isn’t really all that special. The Three Cheese bread on the other hand, that is yum. Which is quite odd since I’m not one for fancy foods. However, I think all of that was offset by the fact that I had 2 small glasses of Pepsi… I hate Pepsi… but I still drank it. I need to stop that.
To my disappointment, I ate dinner at home. I kind of wanted to go out. But I guess it’s better for my waist line and for my wallet that I didn’t go out. My aunt made macaroni, but probably not the type that your expecting.
It’s cooked with ketchup, onions, usually chopped up tomatoes (not this time), sugar and some thin soy sauce. Yea it’s asian style. Don’t be disgusted by the ketchup, you’ll be surprised at what other more famous asian dish is actually just cooked in a similar style. Anyways, this meal really kills me because you usually need to eat a lot to actually feel full. But this time I was good, I only eat 1 bowl and not even a very big one at that. But then again I followed it up with some coffee ice cream and pound cake. Hmm yea I think this who diet change is going to take some time.
